Relationships have the potential to be one of the best aspects of your life — just look at the feelings that flutter about during the ‘Honeymoon Phase.’
The danger can creep in when you start believing this lovey dovey phase will last forever — and that relationships can always be carefree and easy (just a heads up, they can’t).
Relationships take work. That’s largely because it’s tough and challenging to establish what you want from your partner. Disappointment can follow when you don’t feel like your significant other is providing what you want, when you want it (or that they’re not putting in their fair share of work).
How do you keep your cool, carefree ‘Honeymoon Phase’ attitude, yet ensure your needs — as well as your partner’s — are being met?
Simply put: Have a little faith.
Tell your partner how you feel and explicitly pinpoint what you need from them, then give them the benefit of the doubt. Say what you want as part of a functional, mutual relationship and ask your partner if those needs seem reasonable — and if they think they’re able to cater to what you want. If they say yes, believe that — in their own time — they will.
And practice some patience. If you constantly bring up “what you want” and beat your significant other to the punch (by asking why they haven’t done x, or z yet), they’ll never be able to show you they’ve been listening to you. Give them some time to show, through their actions, they care.
Remember, if being a “we” is something your partner wants (and, by being with you, it’s a sign they do), he or she will have heard your list of needs. They probably listened to and looked into every word choice so they can be sure they know what it takes to make you happy.
It just takes time for some people to act. Give your partner the opportunity to process your requests and to understand them. If you keep pressing the issue they’ll feel as though they’re being forced or controlled and will pull away from you. Wait for what you’ve told them to sink in.
This will help the two of you build a solid relationship foundation — one built on attentive understanding and listening as well as working together to ensure you’re on the same page.